I hate love with girl – Sartaz

[aries]

Hi dosto, mera naam Sartaz hai aur main Kanpur se hoon.

Maine bhi ek larki se sachcha pyaar kiya, khud se bhi zyada, lekin wo pyaar kisi aur ko mil gaya. Meri bua ki beti ki beti Nikhat hai, jisse main bahut pyaar karta tha, par ab utna nahi.

Ye baat un dino ki hai jab main 10th class mein tha aur wo 9th class mein thi, humse ek saal chhoti. Wo usi college mein padhti thi jahan main padhta tha, lekin college ka rule tha ki boys aur girls ka section alag-alag tha aur unka class time bhi alag tha. Girls par security bhi thi.

Main 10th mein tha, toh main hamesha uske ghar ke aas-paas ghoomta rehta tha. Jab wo dikhti, toh main khush ho jata tha. Wo humse sawli rang ki thi, jabki main lamba aur gora tha. Dheere dheere aise hi waqt guzarta gaya, fir mere exams aa gaye aur main apni padhai par dhyaan dene laga.

Jab mere exams ho gaye, tab maine uski book copy mein important topics par tick lagaya taaki wo bhi achhe marks la sake. Is tarah se wo bhi pass ho gayi; main 11th mein tha aur wo 10th mein thi. Us waqt mujhe usse bahut pyaar ho gaya tha, lekin main use ye nahi bata pata tha. Mujhe dar bhi lagta tha.

Kabhi kabhi main uske ghar chala jata tha kisi kaam se ya jab wo padhti thi. Aise hi chalte-chalte half yearly exams aa gaye aur wo bhi ho gaye. Uske baad maine apni mehnat se jo notebook banayi thi, usse use de di taaki wo bhi mere jaise achhe marks la sake. Us notebook mein maine "I love you," shayari, aur apna mobile number beech-beech mein likh diya.

Jab usne copy mein sab dekha toh mujhse poocha ki ye sab kya hai. Maine kaha kuch nahi. Bachpan se main usse mazak mein uske baalon ki choti pakad leta tha aur kabhi kabhi sar par dheere se maar bhi deta tha.

Ab thandi ka mausam aa raha tha aur main uske pyaar mein pagal ho gaya tha. Fir maine himmat banayi aur plan banaya ki kis tarah main use propose karunga. Ek din hamare mohalle mein shaadi thi, aur maine decide kiya ki uski ungli mein ek khubsurat ring pahna dunga aur use propose kar dunga. Iske liye maine ek mehengi ring kharidi aur shaadi mein chala gaya.

Main bahut pehle chala gaya tha taaki dekh sakoon wo kis dress mein aayegi, lekin wo us din shaadi par nahi aayi. Main udaas ho gaya bina kuch khaye-piye rote hue ring fek kar akela ghar aa gaya.

Ab mujhe bardaasht nahi ho raha tha isliye socha ki use letter se propose karoon. Fir maine 9 February ko use ek letter diya jisme shayari likhi thi aur niche likha "Nikhat, I love you. Main tumse bahut pyaar karta hoon, tumhare bina main nahi rah sakta."

2 ghante baad wo mujhe bulane aayi. Maine socha shayad usne mera proposal accept kar liya hai, lekin aisa nahi hua. Usne kaha ki "Main ghar ja rahi hoon, tum wahi mere ghar aana."

Kuch der baad jab main uske ghar gaya toh uski maa ne hume be-izzat kiya aur daatne lagi. Maine dekha ki Nikhat mere saamne ro rahi hai. Maine bas itna kaha, "Please aap log Nikhat ko chup kara lijiye, main use rota hua nahi dekh sakta." Ye kehkar main bahar aaya aur mere dil mein bahut tez dard hone laga. Rote hue sunnati jagah chala gaya.

Us waqt main bahut chilla-chilla kar roya; meri aankhein ro-ro kar laal ho gayi thi. Raat 1 baje mere ghar se phone aaya toh main 1 ghante baad 2 baje ghar gaya. Meri aankhein laal thi aur main sidhe bina kuch kahe apne room mein sohne chala gaya.

Lekin mera dil andar hi andar itna ro raha tha ki mujhe suicide karne ka khayal aane laga. Main puri raat rota raha; subah apne haath kaat liya, khoon behne laga. Fir kuch der baad maine apne haath par dressing ki aur khoon pocha. Main fir se ro raha tha; puri raat soya toh 8 baje meri tabiyat kharab ho gayi. Main ek hafta bimaar raha.

Us ek hafte tak na maine kuch khaya na kuch piya; bas tanhai mein hamesha rota raha. Jab uske ghar walon ko mere baare mein pata chala toh unhone mujhe dekhne aaye lekin sirf Nikhat mujhe dekhne nahi aayi.

Uske baad main bahut toot gaya; kisi cheez mein man nahi lagta tha. Mahine baad mujhe pata chala ki wo kisi aur ladke se pyaar karne lagi hai toh maine Nikhat ko call kiya aur kaha ki bas tumse ek baar milna chahta hoon lekin wo mujhse milne nahi aayi.

Main itna toot gaya hoon ki agar koi mujhe sambhale toh bhi main nahi sambhal sakta. Dheere dheere main use bhoolta gaya; uski yaad kam hone lagi. Main ab bhi uska intezaar kar raha hoon shayad wo mujhse accept karein taaki main kuch sambhal sakoon.

Uske liye ye dil ab bhi rota hai. Main hamesha pray karta hoon ki kaash Nikhat tum hume mil jao.

Aur ab mujhe aap logo ki madad chahiye taaki use kaise paa sakoon, taaki ab main kuch pal to khush rahoon.